• Poetry

    Scars

    I wear my scars
    not like armour
    that I’m proud of
    or a badge of honour
    that I boast about,
    but as acknowledgement
    and reverence
    for what I have experienced.
    For the lessons
    I have learnt
    and as a reminder
    of what I have gone through.

    I’m neither
    proud
    or
    not proud
    They depict the humbling
    life showed me.

    They are just a part of me
    A part that I once tried to hide
    A part that I was once ashamed
    and avoidant of
    A part that I have now
    learnt to embrace and love.

    My scars tell a story
    But it’s just that
    A story.
    They don’t define me.

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  • Poetry

    The Sweetness of an Open Heart

    There are none so bright and full of love
    than those that have allowed life to penetrate them fully.
    Cracked open so immensely and felt so deeply
    the depth and breadth of their experiencing.
    Leaving no stone unturned, no shadow unseen, no feeling unmet.
    Those that have surrendered so tenderly
    to the acknowledgement that they know nothing.
    That they are but a whisper on the lips of life,
    carried in the arms of Grace,
    and held in the groundlessness of Being itself.
    Their cracked open heart laid gently to rest
    at the feet of their very own beloved Self.

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  • Poetry

    Resistance

    If resistance shows up,
    then let that resistance in too.
     
    Let it wash over you and into you
    without any sense of wrongness.
     
    Even resistance in all its glory
    is held tenderly in the depths of Being.
     
    So fall,
    fall darling one
    into the heart of surrender
    and let life all the way in.
     
    Even if only for a moment,
    this moment is all it takes.
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  • Poetry

    Divine Humanness

    Your humanness is a gift to be cherished
    not a dirty little secret to be hidden

    It is divinity in it’s expression
    ALL . OF . IT .

    Don’t be tempted to run from it

    Embracing the fullness of your experience
    reveals the fullness of love
    it reveals the emptiness of your core
    and reveals that there was never anything to run from
    and nowhere to run to

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  • Poetry

    I Have a Secret

    I have a secret to tell…
    I sound like I know what I’m talking about
    but in truth I live entirely in the unknown

    No stakes to place
    No walls or ceilings or floors to hang on to
    life is a free-fall of continuous newness
    It’s a leap of faith and trust
    and it’s the ever present continuation of acceptance

    I have no opinions
    and no agenda
    nothing to rely on
    or anything to lay claim over

    I see life as a gift
    and all the content that shows up in it part of that gift

    Most people are so quick to try and pin down life
    to make rules to live by
    find positions to take
    and opinions to have

    But to step into the unknown is to step out of the mind of conception
    and into the realm of Grace
    into the realm of Self
    into the realm of awareness

    logic will do you no good here

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  • Poetry

    By Grace

    Life is not some beast to be tamed,
    a project to be mastered,
    or your b$*%h to be controlled.

    Life is a gift.
    The gift of Grace.

    And with this recognition
    I bow to the feet of life
    in gratitude.

    Grace courses through us
    in everything we touch,
    in everything we experience.
    There is nothing that isn’t Grace.

    “It’s all by Grace”

    For me is the most powerful and humbling recognition.

    The acknowledgement that I have no control.
    That I am here,
    all of me,
    all of my experiencing
    by Grace.

    And so in this
    it’s all seen as a gift.

    Some call it God.
    Some call it Consciousness.
    Some call it fate.
    There are many names
    all pointing to that ineffable impersonal activity of life.

    I call it Grace.

    The infinite actions and endless possibilities
    of life playing life
    in the ocean of life.

    Wild and unpredictable.

    Plenty of variation,
    but no separation.

    Just as the sun shines on all,
    Grace is in all.

    There are no distinctions of good or bad,
    no questions of right or wrong.

    Everything that happens,
    everything that doesn’t,
    all by Grace.

    Every whisper of a thought,
    every flash of a memory,
    every definitive decision,
    every decisive action,
    every palpable desire,
    every subtle feeling,
    every wave of emotion,
    every happening of life,
    all by Grace.

    And so life is lived,
    by Grace.

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  • Poetry

    The Heart of Life

    Please don’t forget to save some love
    for yourself

    It’s so easy to give so freely 
    so that you avoid the heartache that pulses inside

    To focus on the other
    to love the other
    to help the other

    To have the attention be so fully on the outer actions of life
    so that the inner shadows can be hidden and forgotten

    Those inner shadows and pains
    yearn for your attention
    yearn for your love
    yearn to be accepted

    Don’t forget that the kindest thing you can do for humanity
    is start from you and radiate from there

    Nourish and hold that beautiful heart in the fullness of love
    Let it shine with abandon
    Let it sing it’s heart song

    A loved heart is the most powerful thing to behold
    A loved heart is unstoppable

    Start from you
    You are the key
    to the heart of life

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  • Poetry

    Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off

    Sometimes life brings you to your knees.
    Floors you with it’s strong wisdom.
    Shows you where the shadows still lie.
    Where the aspects of yourself are that still go unmet.
     
    It’s a calling that when ignored
    screams
    and
    kicks
    and
    shouts
    to be seen, to be heard.
     
    It’s a gut punch of a moment
    one that takes the breath away
    and leaves all else quivering in its wake.
     
    All else stops.
     
    So you stop with it
    close the eyes
    and listen.
     
    Listen to where life is taking you.
    Listen to what life is showing you.
    Listen to your heart, to your soul, to your Being.
     
    No more strategies
    No more solutions
    No more resistance
    No more avoidance
    Just simply what is.
     
    And in that silence
    all is found.
     
    All the mess
    all the heartbreak
    all the mistrust
    being met fully.
     
    All the darkness comes into the light.
     
    The opening of yourself so vast that the edge is never met
    The melting of all the hurt and violence into acceptance and love.
     
    Love wins out.
     
    And so you pick yourself up
    and dust yourself off
    and on you go
    heart fully cracked open
    with love.
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  • Poetry

    The Head or the Heart

    There’s a constant
    exploration of life
    that is immediate.

    To listen to your body,
    your physical response to life,
    your intuitive knowingness.
    The pull towards yes or no.

    Not on an intellectual level,
    but on a physical level 
    of what’s right or wrong
    for you in that moment.

    And we are conditioned to override this all the time.

    There’s a bravery
    and a risk
    to listening to that intuition.
    Your heart,
    your physical
    response and reaction
    to life.

    Often it can go against
    everything that you think you know.

    But it’s screaming for your attention.

    Will the head win?
    Or will the heart?

    Will you let the conditioning and the head run the show?
    Or will the naturalness of life win out?

    This can be a big battle for most.

    The intuition and the heart
    eventually will win the war,
    but it can take time.

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  • Poetry

    Not a Safe Space

    This is not a safe space.
    I am not a safe space.

    If safe space to you means that you will not be challenged,
    and that you cannot challenge me,
    then I am not a safe space.

    I want to fully lean into life,
    have no stone unturned.
    No sacred cows that cannot be found.

    To me the only way to deal with this life,
    is to learn how to live it without a safe space.
    To learn to live it without the need to avoid.
    To meet everything, in every moment, fully.

    I’d rather meet and be met then avoid.
    No matter how painful, how raw.
    I’d rather live in openness, not closed-ness.

    So IF I offer a safe space, it’s the space where anything can be explored, anything can be embraced, with compassion and tenderness. But especially those things that trigger us, because how can you expect those triggers to ever be healed if you’re not willing to go there, to look at them. They will forever be in the corner of your existence, just there within reaching distance, never far away. Leaving you with an ever-present sense of insecurity and danger.

    So to me a safe space is one where there is no walls, there is no ceiling, there is no ground, there is nothing to hide behind. Anything and everything can and does show up. There’s room for it all. And so I offer a space with room for it all.

    I’ve spent plenty of time in my life avoiding my trauma and triggers, my hurt, my conditioning and my precious concepts. I’ve learnt that this only causes tightness and suffering. The opposite of freedom.

    It was when I learnt to meet all of my unexplored pains and traumas, that I was able to be free of them.

    So that now they can show up, they can be there, and it’s okay. I have the facility and the sufficient openness and vastness to meet them and not be afraid.

    In some ways I’m feeling life more fully, more intensely, and with a rawness that was never there. And that’s not because I avoided or stayed in my sandbox, my safety. It was because I blasted those doors open, no matter how painful, how scared, how vulnerable that was.

    I live in perpetually shaky, unstable ground.
    But it’s in that instability that I find my true stability.
    That I find that I need no stability, that I need no ground.
    This is my grounded-ness.

    So if we are talking the same language of exploration, then yes… I offer to you a safe space.

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  • Poetry

    Walking in Old Wounds

    Here I am again,
    holding space for the palpitating panic that I’m experiencing.
    Giving it the space to roam free.
    A safe, embracing, loving space
    of not trying to fix it.
    A shaky space of unknowing.

    The need to fix, to help,
    to soothe, to solve,
    taps into my deepest struggle of a core wound.
    It still comes up, especially in the role I find myself in.

    Somedays I feel like life is playing one big cosmic joke on me.
    The joke of putting me front and centre in the fire of my biggest struggle.
    Making me face it again again until it’s accepted, healed, dissolved, seen through, felt fully….
    I don’t know what, all of the above and more probably!

    The need to fix so as not to feel this burning,
    this sense of helplessness,
    the uncomfortable,
    unbearable pain and heartbreak.
    The deep feeling for another’s struggle.
    My need to fix is my escape,
    an escape which solves nothing,
    certainly not permanently.

    But can I walk my talk?
    Can I hold space for this?
    Can I let myself fall into this burning,
    into my own heartache?
    Can I let go of this escape route?

    Yes.

    Because what is the alternative?
    Perpetuating this unhealthy old conditioning of ‘needing to rescue’.
    This option isn’t available to me anymore.
    I see the futility of it again and again,
    I see the dead end and the falseness of it.
    No-one is anothers rescuer,
    life doesn’t work like that.

    I’m not talking about being cold and hard and not feeling deeply for others pain and suffering.
    I’m talking about seeing that I cannot fix it.
    I can hold space for it, but I cannot get rid of it.
    That the real power, the real truth is in letting them see that they too can handle it.
    All of it.
    That no-one can fix anything for them.
    No-one is responsible for their salvation.

    All I can do is respect and honour the journey that they must and can walk for themselves.

    This is the only sane response to life.
    To love, but to let go.
    To support, but not fix.

    Can I be ‘the bad guy’, the one that doesn’t come charging in with all the solutions and stop the suffering?
    Can I stand in my burning uncomfortableness and heartbreak because I know in my heart my ‘need to fix’ is mine, not theirs.

    I am no-ones savour,
    I don’t have solutions,
    I don’t have the answers.
    I am just here,
    burning in my own fire.
    Trusting.
    Trusting that life has a plan,
    That life embraces all of these struggles.

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  • Poetry

    My Heart Hurts Today

    My heart hurts today.
    The loss of a loved one is never easy.

    Tender, broken and so wide open.
    So full of love, so beautiful.
    The waves of emotions, energies and memories break over me when least expected.

    Life is a precious thing,
    but so is death.

    Death brings up so much to the surface
    The unavoidable mirror of change
    and the inevitability of loss.
    The lack of certainty and control,
    and the great unknown.

    Emotions are high,
    everyone dealing with it in their own way,
    messy and inelegant.

    The appreciation and love for those who are both gone and those who are still here.
    All parading past in my heart.
    Every moment filled with equal intensity of love and pain.

     


    In memory of my dear Uncle Andrew, 1951-2019

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  • Poetry

    Dig Deep

    In those moment when you can’t see a way forward
    through the darkness and confusion,
    breathe all the way through to the ends of you fingers and toes.
    Notice your aliveness,
    your awareness of that aliveness.

    Don’t be afraid of the shadows in the dark night of your soul.
    Embrace that darkness,
    lean into it.
    Bring the light of awareness,
    your light,
    into the dark.

    The shadows call for attention and recognition,
    they call for love not rejection.
    Give them the attention they seek
    don’t hide from them.
    You can’t hide from them.

    Breathe deep and boldly move forward
    one foot in front of another,
    even if that boldness is full of fear
    don’t let fear stop you.
    Don’t become a slave to doubt and fear.
    See that they are arising and falling as naturally as you breathe,
    as naturally as happiness and joy
    or sadness and sorrow.

    See that all that arises is fleetingly held in the sweet embrace of your being
    and then dissolves whence it came.

    So dig deep, belly breathe through ALL of life’s experience
    one foot in front of another
    without reference to past or fear of future.

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  • Poetry

    When The Chatter Ceases

    When the story drops away
    When the chatter ceases to be
    When the drama and ups & downs dry up
    When the endless dissatisfaction and seeking stops
    When the feeling of next, next, next is gone
    What are you left with then?

    This
    Just this
    This that is everything and nothing
    This that is life

    Everything that you once knew
    Or thought you knew
    Cease to feel relevant

    And yet here you still are
    Aware
    Alive
    Here

    Its a leap into the unknown
    A free-fall in life
    Nothing to hold on to
    Nowhere to put a stake in the sand

    Fresh in every moment

    No past
    No future
    No next
    No present
    No now
    Just This

    Beautiful, alive Isness

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  • Poetry

    Freedom to Freely BE

    I don’t require you to be anyone
    to turn up
    switch on
    to be someone

    Here in this space
    I have no use for concepts and opinions
    assertions and knowledge
    here in this space we can just BE

    Be as we are
    naked and vulnerable
    strong and fiery
    broken and lost
    angry or sad
    joy-filled and blissful

    or nothing at all

    Here in this space we can explore the depth of humanity
    traverse the fields of experiencing
    sit in this divine Isness of life

    but most of all be free
    free to be
    free to be without attributes
    free to be whatever and whoever we are
    free to sink into this moment
    again
    and again
    and again

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  • Poetry

    Just for a Moment

    Keep letting go
    that dogged determination of seeking
    whether it be experiences and pleasure-seeking
    better and more ‘stuff’
    vaster and deeper knowledge
    more experienced and valued skills
    let it all go
    just for a moment
    and experience this moment.
    Experience what it is to live life as awareness
    unadorned with the commentary of the mind
    theres nothing to get rid of, no bad thought
    all must be held in the tender embrace of acceptance
    for the real blossoming of life lived in truth and freedom
    to be recognised as your birthright all along.

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  • Poetry

    I Am

    I don’t have any designs to be a teacher,
    or even a student,
    to be anything or anyone.
    I simply am.

    Living this life in the present moment of pure grace and spontaneity,
    meeting each and every moment with the fullness of my heart
    and the truth of this moment as I know it.

    Never is there anything to be rejected or avoided,
    never is there anything to be clung to and grasped;
    all is perfectly playing out on this stage of experiencing.

    For who am I that can possibly DO any of this,
    who could claim any ownership of this moment?

    What this isn’t is some spiritual pose,
    some ‘way’ of being.

    This is just a description of what naturally happens
    when the dropping of all pretences,
    the dropping of any held view,
    the total openness of Sahaja,
    the natural state,
    when What-Is is.

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  • Poetry

    Embracing Life

    Look at the world as if you know nothing,
    don’t draw any conclusions
    about what you experience,
    or who you are.
     
    Innocently move through life
    experiencing what is
    without the burdens of ideas,
    judgements and conclusions.
     
    Take each moment a fresh,
    knowing that this moment will never be again.
     
    Lovingly embrace each experience of life,
    how lucky we are to have the play of life
    grace us with its beauty and light.
     
    Embrace all, reject nothing –
    see that you are the master of none but the father/mother of all.

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  • Poetry

    Stand in Truth

    I stand in truth.

    Can I accept that I may be judged,
    I may be questioned,
    I may be ridiculed?

    Can I accept that,
    can I be brave?

    Can I stand in my own truth,
    without qualification and explanation?

    Can I stand sure,
    knowing that it’s the right thing,
    it’s the only thing?

    Can I stand in truth,
    unashamedly without reason,
    and with no excuse?

    Can I stand up for mySelf,
    stand tall for the realisation of my very being?

    Can I stand up for the truth of my own reality
    that I know so well,
    so intimately?

    Can I live my life without the influence of shoulds and should nots?

    Can I say to hell with it all and be as I am?

    Can I stand in all my glory,
    warts and all,
    honest and vulnerable?

    Can I accept all of it,
    every aspect of me,
    every aspect of life,
    can I embrace it into my heart without exception?

    So I stand in my truth
    and in turn encourage others to stand in theirs.

    For it’s the most loving thing I can do for myself and others.

    Drop all the games,
    all the masks,
    all the pretences,
    all the false concepts and notions,
    drop it all.

    Stand naked and open,
    don’t hide your light.

    Let reality, truth and honesty be the guiding movement of life.

    Let the truth of your being shine through.

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  • Poetry

    This Suffering Will Pass

    I feel your pain, your suffering.
    If I could, I’d tell you that this will pass,
    just as the clouds pass in the sky,
    just as the ripples of the dropped stone disappear,
    just as the passing wind that rustles the tree leaves,
    just as the forgotten pain of yesterdays cut finger,
    just as the heartbreak of first loves breakup,
    just as the treasured childhood wellington’s long outgrown,
    just as the wishes of birthday candles past.
    Don’t hold on, for this too shall pass.

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  • Poetry

    Awareness

    No questions
    No answers
    No effort
    No doing
    No practice
    No deciding
    No letting go
    No coming
    No going
    No descriptions
    No disconnection
    No suffering
    No story
    No universe
    No god
    No you
    No me

    Awareness is aware

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  • Poetry

    Just Stop

    All these thoughts whirling around in your head
    The whys and hows and what ifs
    The past regrets and plans of the future
    The shoulds and the should nots
    Just stop

    Stop holding on to them
    Stop giving energy to them
    Stop indulging them
    Stop pushing them away
    Stop trying to fix them
    Just stop

    There’s nothing to be figured out
    No puzzle piece that needs to be found
    No magical understanding which will make all of this make sense
    Let go of all these thoughts
    Keep letting go all day long

    Abide in that which is aware of all these thoughts coming and going
    Stay there
    Stop going to the thoughts as if they’ll be the answer
    Stay where you are
    Could it be so simple?

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  • Poetry

    Before Everything, You Are

    I AM before all concepts,
    all thoughts,
    all emotions,
    all senses,
    before all that the body and mind experiences,
    before all of this,
    and yet all of this is contain in and as me.

    I AM indefinable, words fail.
    I go looking and the one that is looking
    disappears into the where looking is happening from.

    I AM immeasurable, ineffable silence.
    This silence is not silent,
    it’s not empty,
    it’s not a lack of sound,
    it’s an indescribable silence,
    beyond words.

    I AM that.
    You ARE that.

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