By Grace there has been
a fierce love of life,
love of love,
love of truth,
planted in the heart
as a tiny tender seed.
That seed grows
in the soil of mess and muck,
where unmet and unseen
feelings of life live.
Where the hardship and sorrow,
fear and loneliness,
doubt and confusion,
lack of self love
and self acceptance
Yet that hardy seed still grows.
Not in spite of, but because of.
It finds its roots, its stem, its leaves
in amongst depression and grief,
hopelessness and despair,
and it used them as fuel
for a it’s tender blossoming
fruit and flower.
That seed grows into a mighty oak.
And that oak knows the true meaning
of unconditional love and acceptance.
That oak knows its Self.
Its fruition may have been hard won,
fought in the mud and messiness of life.
But in that messiness
was found to be true harmony.
It was found to be all.
It was found to be Self.
It was found to be HOME.
A life of freedom is to embrace it all.
The highs AND the lows,
the light AND the shadow.
To celebrate each moment
as entirely divine and magical,
yet fully ordinary and mundane.
To enjoy the textures and colours of existence,
without judgment or division.
To be able to fall in love with it all.
The silence AND the noise,
the calm AND the chaos.
Life is here for us to enjoy,
because life as we experience it
is a continuous celebration of existence.
Where there is seeming conflict and opposition
sink into the resolution in the heart,
where there is room for even the most extreme of paradoxes.
Where there is grief and regret
surrender into the compassion and understanding of the heart,
where there is forgiveness for it all.
Where there is confusion and doubt
allow yourself to swim in the unknowing mystery of the heart,
where no answers or definites are required.
Where there is striving and longing
let go into the heart of this moment,
where everything is perfectly unfolding without exception.
Welcome each moment with the fullness of your heart,
with the fullness of acceptance and love for all that life is.
Give your existence to life itself.
Let your life be a celebration of that.
[Photo credit: Martyn Webber]
Oh Merciful Love!
Is not this love a universal love? A universal and all forgiving love.
You fear your actions put you beyond redemption, beyond forgiveness.
But what is unforgivable in the eyes of love?
Grace has no such judgements of deservedness or not.
Grace seeps into the hearts of all those who welcome her, of all those that open their hearts to the possibility of love.
There are none so evil, so bad, so unredeemable that cannot be seen in the light of love when the understanding of what makes us do what we do is given space to dance.
Grace is merciful, Grace is kind, Grace fills the air with the loving embrace of a mother unconditionally accepting her children back into the fold, endlessly time and time again.
Don’t be fooled into thinking that you are unworthy of love.
Unworthiness comes from the realm of judgement and assumptions of action being unforgivable.
Just look deeper: all action yearns for love, for wholeness, for acceptance.
In its way all action comes from love no matter how misguided and utterly messy the results may be.
So let us fall ceaselessly in love; let us fall fully into the arms of Grace.
We all have a relationship with faith whether we’re conscious of it or not.
Faith in your self
Faith in your body, in your health
Faith in human nature
Faith in your ability to know fact from fiction
Faith in your resilience, your gifts and aptitudes
Faith in your power and your drive to achieve
Faith in your learning, in your knowledge, your education
Faith in your spiritual practice or your meditation
Faith in your loved ones, your family, your friends
Faith in society, in community, even faith in government or systems
Faith in gravity and other in scientific explanations of life
Faith in something more than yourself, a higher power, an unseen force of life
Faith in nature, in mother earth
Faith in God, Gods or Goddesses
Faith in the divine
Faith in love
Faith in trust
Faith in truth
Faith in life
Even your non-faith has faith in that
So can your faith be greater than your fear? Can you let yourself surrender into faith rather than go with the contraction into control and mistrust, where you lose sight of that faith in life to show you the way no matter what? Can you choose love and trust of life over the fear of the unknown?
Faith requires faith in just the next foot forward, a step into the unknown, a step towards that which draws your heart to it.
Whatever your faith is in… let yourself fall fully into that until you find it opens up into the recognition that life couldn’t have gone any other way; that which is true was always true and that which is false has its wisdom too.
Have faith that in the end you are exactly where you needed to be all along.
This life is sacred.
This body is sacred.
This mind is sacred.
These emotions and these thoughts are sacred.
This fear and this grief is sacred.
This existence is sacred.
All of life’s existence and expression is that of consciousness.
Awareness-consciousness makes no distinction between the ordinary and the extraordinary,
no distinction between the humanness and the divine.
For all is the playground of existence.
All is the sacred emanations of life.
All held in the embrace of awareness.
Do not presume to know better.
Do not presume that your minds judgment of what is holy and what is not
means anything in the eyes of consciousness.
For even the messy, fearful and supremely human expressions of consciousness
are sacred and beautiful moments dancing in the light of awareness.
Even the protestations of right and wrong,
the valuing and the rejecting of this or that,
even these too are sacred expressions to be experienced and tasted fully.
Can you include it all?
Because how is it possible to not?
Can you really truly reject anything if even that rejection is included too?
That which turns up as us and in us is there through Grace,
it’s there as the wisdom messenger of life,
it’s there as the sacred actor on the stage of life.
So don’t cast aside any aspect of your experience so quickly.
Don’t belittle and shame your sacred humanness.
Let life dance in you and as you in it’s holy uncensored way,
beyond the logic, beyond the reason, beyond limits and conditions, beyond it all
– just as it is.
I invite you into the fire of life
where the light burns so brightly
on all that is.
The uncomfortable and unfathomable
truth and rawness of this moment
is inescapable and unyielding
leaving no choice but to surrender.
The fire burns bright tonight
and with this
the ground shifts beneath your feet.
The stability that felt hard won
is gone in an instant
taking with it
all sense of knowing
all sense of certainty.
Your heart burns bright
with all possibilities
All that is
all that was
all that can be
held in the infinite fiery embrace
of this moment.
Resistance is futile here
for there is space for it all.
Yes even resistance itself.
The heart surrenders
the fever breaks
and with it
a sense of awe and wonder
that even this
can be included
in your story
Sending love to those who are trying to heal from things they do not discuss.
Sending love to those that have been caught off guard by life in unimaginable ways.
Sending love to those that feel alone and unable to share what they are going through.
Sending love to those that feel they are unworthy or undeserving of kindness, of love.
Sending love to those who are struggling but are still trying their best to survive.
Sending love to those that need it most but feel shame and fear to ask for it.
Sending love to those that suffer silently with nowhere to turn.
Sending love to those in the belly of darkness and pain.
Sending love to those that feel misunderstood and unrelatable.
Sending love to those that are trying their best even when it seems like it’s not good enough.
Sending love to each and every one of you walking your life’s path.
Sending love…. 💜🙏💜
find your biggest fear
and make friends with it
get to know its nature
its seeming binds
let awareness penetrate and
light up the corners
of your existence
so that the shadows
have nowhere left to hide
Patience is not just a practice to be kept.
Patience is not just an effort to be continuously made.
True patience comes naturally and spontaneously
when you are impregnated fully with love.
That love which fills every corner of your heart.
That love that knows no bounds,
no time limits,
That love is where the vast and infinite patience for it all is found.
Patience for the journey as it slowly walks its path.
Patience for the moment it takes to find those right words.
Patience for the emotion that takes its time to pass.
Patience for the highs and lows of life to cycle through at their own pace.
Patience for the stories and dramas that get played out again and again.
Patience for the body as it takes its needed rest, its needed pause.
Patience for the constant learning and the seeming wrong turns.
Patience for the endless opening and heartbreak that life inevitably brings.
Patience for the childlike discovery and excitement of every new moment.
Patience for the depth of human messiness that is yet to unfold.
Patience for even the impatient need to move onto the next and the next.
Patience isn’t a practice,
patience is the fragrance of true love.
Because with love there is room for it all.
When you find a friend where there is no pretence, no mask, no holding back.
A friend that you can laugh and cry and shout and be with no matter what flavour of you is shining through.
A friend who can see you at your messiest but still see your beauty and your love.
A friend who is a safe haven of fierce loyalty and kindness when it feels like the whole world is against you.
A friend who inspires you to grow and stretch into the best version of yourself,
but doesn’t scold you for being at your worst too.
A friend that you have no fear of judgement or rejection with.
A friend that tells you straight when you’re drifting off course but never judges you for it.
A friend that holds space for you even when you can’t hold space for yourself.
When you find that friend
… cherish and nurture them, don’t take them for granted.
For true friends who love you for exactly who you are are hard to come by and a blessed gift of life.
To all those friends who have walked this earth with me for however long or short…
thank you, thank you, thank you.
I wear my scars
not like armour
that I’m proud of
or a badge of honour
that I boast about,
but as acknowledgement
for what I have experienced.
For the lessons
I have learnt
and as a reminder
of what I have gone through.
They depict the humbling
life showed me.
They are just a part of me
A part that I once tried to hide
A part that I was once ashamed
and avoidant of
A part that I have now
learnt to embrace and love.
My scars tell a story
But it’s just that
They don’t define me.
There are none so bright and full of love
than those that have allowed life to penetrate them fully.
Cracked open so immensely and felt so deeply
the depth and breadth of their experiencing.
Leaving no stone unturned, no shadow unseen, no feeling unmet.
Those that have surrendered so tenderly
to the acknowledgement that they know nothing.
That they are but a whisper on the lips of life,
carried in the arms of Grace,
and held in the groundlessness of Being itself.
Their cracked open heart laid gently to rest
at the feet of their very own beloved Self.
- If resistance shows up,then let that resistance in too.Let it wash over you and into youwithout any sense of wrongness.Even resistance in all its gloryis held tenderly in the depths of Being.So fall,fall darling oneinto the heart of surrenderand let life all the way in.Even if only for a moment,this moment is all it takes.
Your humanness is a gift to be cherished
not a dirty little secret to be hidden
It is divinity in it’s expression
ALL . OF . IT .
Don’t be tempted to run from it
Embracing the fullness of your experience
reveals the fullness of love
it reveals the emptiness of your core
and reveals that there was never anything to run from
and nowhere to run to
I have a secret to tell…
I sound like I know what I’m talking about
but in truth I live entirely in the unknown
No stakes to place
No walls or ceilings or floors to hang on to
life is a free-fall of continuous newness
It’s a leap of faith and trust
and it’s the ever present continuation of acceptance
I have no opinions
and no agenda
nothing to rely on
or anything to lay claim over
I see life as a gift
and all the content that shows up in it part of that gift
Most people are so quick to try and pin down life
to make rules to live by
find positions to take
and opinions to have
But to step into the unknown is to step out of the mind of conception
and into the realm of Grace
into the realm of Self
into the realm of awareness
logic will do you no good here
Life is not some beast to be tamed,
a project to be mastered,
or your b$*%h to be controlled.
Life is a gift.
The gift of Grace.
And with this recognition
I bow to the feet of life
Grace courses through us
in everything we touch,
in everything we experience.
There is nothing that isn’t Grace.
“It’s all by Grace”
For me is the most powerful and humbling recognition.
The acknowledgement that I have no control.
That I am here,
all of me,
all of my experiencing
And so in this
it’s all seen as a gift.
Some call it God.
Some call it Consciousness.
Some call it fate.
There are many names
all pointing to that ineffable impersonal activity of life.
I call it Grace.
The infinite actions and endless possibilities
of life playing life
in the ocean of life.
Wild and unpredictable.
Plenty of variation,
but no separation.
Just as the sun shines on all,
Grace is in all.
There are no distinctions of good or bad,
no questions of right or wrong.
Everything that happens,
everything that doesn’t,
all by Grace.
Every whisper of a thought,
every flash of a memory,
every definitive decision,
every decisive action,
every palpable desire,
every subtle feeling,
every wave of emotion,
every happening of life,
all by Grace.
And so life is lived,
Please don’t forget to save some love
It’s so easy to give so freely
so that you avoid the heartache that pulses inside
To focus on the other
to love the other
to help the other
To have the attention be so fully on the outer actions of life
so that the inner shadows can be hidden and forgotten
Those inner shadows and pains
yearn for your attention
yearn for your love
yearn to be accepted
Don’t forget that the kindest thing you can do for humanity
is start from you and radiate from there
Nourish and hold that beautiful heart in the fullness of love
Let it shine with abandon
Let it sing it’s heart song
A loved heart is the most powerful thing to behold
A loved heart is unstoppable
Start from you
You are the key
to the heart of life
- Sometimes life brings you to your knees.Floors you with it’s strong wisdom.Shows you where the shadows still lie.Where the aspects of yourself are that still go unmet.It’s a calling that when ignoredscreamsandkicksandshoutsto be seen, to be heard.It’s a gut punch of a momentone that takes the breath awayand leaves all else quivering in its wake.All else stops.So you stop with itclose the eyesand listen.Listen to where life is taking you.Listen to what life is showing you.Listen to your heart, to your soul, to your Being.No more strategiesNo more solutionsNo more resistanceNo more avoidanceJust simply what is.And in that silenceall is found.All the messall the heartbreakall the mistrustbeing met fully.All the darkness comes into the light.The opening of yourself so vast that the edge is never metThe melting of all the hurt and violence into acceptance and love.Love wins out.And so you pick yourself upand dust yourself offand on you goheart fully cracked openwith love.
There’s a constant
exploration of life
that is immediate.
To listen to your body,
your physical response to life,
your intuitive knowingness.
The pull towards yes or no.
Not on an intellectual level,
but on a physical level
of what’s right or wrong
for you in that moment.
And we are conditioned to override this all the time.
There’s a bravery
and a risk
to listening to that intuition.
response and reaction
Often it can go against
everything that you think you know.
But it’s screaming for your attention.
Will the head win?
Or will the heart?
Will you let the conditioning and the head run the show?
Or will the naturalness of life win out?
This can be a big battle for most.
The intuition and the heart
eventually will win the war,
but it can take time.
This is not a safe space.
I am not a safe space.
If safe space to you means that you will not be challenged,
and that you cannot challenge me,
then I am not a safe space.
I want to fully lean into life,
have no stone unturned.
No sacred cows that cannot be found.
To me the only way to deal with this life,
is to learn how to live it without a safe space.
To learn to live it without the need to avoid.
To meet everything, in every moment, fully.
I’d rather meet and be met then avoid.
No matter how painful, how raw.
I’d rather live in openness, not closed-ness.
So IF I offer a safe space, it’s the space where anything can be explored, anything can be embraced, with compassion and tenderness. But especially those things that trigger us, because how can you expect those triggers to ever be healed if you’re not willing to go there, to look at them. They will forever be in the corner of your existence, just there within reaching distance, never far away. Leaving you with an ever-present sense of insecurity and danger.
So to me a safe space is one where there is no walls, there is no ceiling, there is no ground, there is nothing to hide behind. Anything and everything can and does show up. There’s room for it all. And so I offer a space with room for it all.
I’ve spent plenty of time in my life avoiding my trauma and triggers, my hurt, my conditioning and my precious concepts. I’ve learnt that this only causes tightness and suffering. The opposite of freedom.
It was when I learnt to meet all of my unexplored pains and traumas, that I was able to be free of them.
So that now they can show up, they can be there, and it’s okay. I have the facility and the sufficient openness and vastness to meet them and not be afraid.
In some ways I’m feeling life more fully, more intensely, and with a rawness that was never there. And that’s not because I avoided or stayed in my sandbox, my safety. It was because I blasted those doors open, no matter how painful, how scared, how vulnerable that was.
I live in perpetually shaky, unstable ground.
But it’s in that instability that I find my true stability.
That I find that I need no stability, that I need no ground.
This is my grounded-ness.
So if we are talking the same language of exploration, then yes… I offer to you a safe space.
Here I am again,
holding space for the palpitating panic that I’m experiencing.
Giving it the space to roam free.
A safe, embracing, loving space
of not trying to fix it.
A shaky space of unknowing.
The need to fix, to help,
to soothe, to solve,
taps into my deepest struggle of a core wound.
It still comes up, especially in the role I find myself in.
Somedays I feel like life is playing one big cosmic joke on me.
The joke of putting me front and centre in the fire of my biggest struggle.
Making me face it again again until it’s accepted, healed, dissolved, seen through, felt fully….
I don’t know what, all of the above and more probably!
The need to fix so as not to feel this burning,
this sense of helplessness,
unbearable pain and heartbreak.
The deep feeling for another’s struggle.
My need to fix is my escape,
an escape which solves nothing,
certainly not permanently.
But can I walk my talk?
Can I hold space for this?
Can I let myself fall into this burning,
into my own heartache?
Can I let go of this escape route?
Because what is the alternative?
Perpetuating this unhealthy old conditioning of ‘needing to rescue’.
This option isn’t available to me anymore.
I see the futility of it again and again,
I see the dead end and the falseness of it.
No-one is anothers rescuer,
life doesn’t work like that.
I’m not talking about being cold and hard and not feeling deeply for others pain and suffering.
I’m talking about seeing that I cannot fix it.
I can hold space for it, but I cannot get rid of it.
That the real power, the real truth is in letting them see that they too can handle it.
All of it.
That no-one can fix anything for them.
No-one is responsible for their salvation.
All I can do is respect and honour the journey that they must and can walk for themselves.
This is the only sane response to life.
To love, but to let go.
To support, but not fix.
Can I be ‘the bad guy’, the one that doesn’t come charging in with all the solutions and stop the suffering?
Can I stand in my burning uncomfortableness and heartbreak because I know in my heart my ‘need to fix’ is mine, not theirs.
I am no-ones savour,
I don’t have solutions,
I don’t have the answers.
I am just here,
burning in my own fire.
Trusting that life has a plan,
That life embraces all of these struggles.
My heart hurts today.
The loss of a loved one is never easy.
Tender, broken and so wide open.
So full of love, so beautiful.
The waves of emotions, energies and memories break over me when least expected.
Life is a precious thing,
but so is death.
Death brings up so much to the surface
The unavoidable mirror of change
and the inevitability of loss.
The lack of certainty and control,
and the great unknown.
Emotions are high,
everyone dealing with it in their own way,
messy and inelegant.
The appreciation and love for those who are both gone and those who are still here.
All parading past in my heart.
Every moment filled with equal intensity of love and pain.
In memory of my dear Uncle Andrew, 1951-2019
In those moment when you can’t see a way forward
through the darkness and confusion,
breathe all the way through to the ends of you fingers and toes.
Notice your aliveness,
your awareness of that aliveness.
Don’t be afraid of the shadows in the dark night of your soul.
Embrace that darkness,
lean into it.
Bring the light of awareness,
into the dark.
The shadows call for attention and recognition,
they call for love not rejection.
Give them the attention they seek
don’t hide from them.
You can’t hide from them.
Breathe deep and boldly move forward
one foot in front of another,
even if that boldness is full of fear
don’t let fear stop you.
Don’t become a slave to doubt and fear.
See that they are arising and falling as naturally as you breathe,
as naturally as happiness and joy
or sadness and sorrow.
See that all that arises is fleetingly held in the sweet embrace of your being
and then dissolves whence it came.
So dig deep, belly breathe through ALL of life’s experience
one foot in front of another
without reference to past or fear of future.
When the story drops away
When the chatter ceases to be
When the drama and ups & downs dry up
When the endless dissatisfaction and seeking stops
When the feeling of next, next, next is gone
What are you left with then?
This that is everything and nothing
This that is life
Everything that you once knew
Or thought you knew
Cease to feel relevant
And yet here you still are
Its a leap into the unknown
A free-fall in life
Nothing to hold on to
Nowhere to put a stake in the sand
Fresh in every moment
Beautiful, alive Isness
I don’t require you to be anyone
to turn up
to be someone
Here in this space
I have no use for concepts and opinions
assertions and knowledge
here in this space we can just BE
Be as we are
naked and vulnerable
strong and fiery
broken and lost
angry or sad
joy-filled and blissful
or nothing at all
Here in this space we can explore the depth of humanity
traverse the fields of experiencing
sit in this divine Isness of life
but most of all be free
free to be
free to be without attributes
free to be whatever and whoever we are
free to sink into this moment