Trusting Your Way

There are SOOO many different ways of doing this work of holding space and guiding & supporting others. And so many ways of awakening to our nature and integrating and embodying that fully in the human expression that we are. Infinite ways of Being. If I could ever impart anything to anyone - It is to trust YOUR way. To not assume that just because there's someone, a teacher or such, that seems amazing, and they have all the answers and they are doing it the way you aspire to even, that their way is the "correct" way (for you). Do not diminish and take for granted the wisdom that you hold, through your life experience, through your body, through the embodied spark of consciousness that you are, the particular flavour and footprint of your life. That this is actually what life has gifted this world and birthed into existence and it's not a mistake at all. We cannot dishonour life or ourselves by assuming that there is any part of who and what we are that is incorrect. And in that way you can use other people as a model and a mirror, but never step away from the…

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Walking Through Trauma Fields

I want to share what's been going on with me recently, mainly so that people who've been working with me, or following my journey and work over the years can understand where I'm at right now. I've always aimed to be as open and transparent as possible, but more importantly because I see the universality of this process that I find myself in too. And so I hope this blog post can be helpful to others, to encourage us all to lean into what life calls of us rather than trying to find a way around it or even try to bypass it altogether. I encourage you to open up further instead of withdrawing and closing off from a painful process or part of yourself. It's the opening that leads to greater strength and clarity, greater freedom and grounding in one's Self, greater acceptance and love. But I also recognise we are each only able to open when we're able to open, just as the fruit falls from the tree when it's ripe. So this transmission of words is to all of you that find yourself in a position of ripeness. A position of life asking to meet whatever darkness…

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The Antifragility of Freedom

What is your capacity to be with loss, to be with grief and sadness and loneliness, to be with fear? What is your capacity to embody all aspects of the human experience, not just the ‘good’ stuff? It’s not that we need to go looking for this stuff, court it, wallow in it, seek it out. But it will inevitably find you, one way or another. If you spend your life running from this, finding safe ground away from the mud and melee of life, when it does show up it will feel overwhelming and scary, it will feel like it could break you, even worse, it could kill you. This safe space, this gilded cage that you have created from life will be shaken to the core. Your fragility will become apparent. Freedom is the ability to encompass and embrace it all, it’s the antifragility of life. It’s the allowance of the full expression of life to move through you unimpeded. Root out where you are feeling fragile with life. Become aware of it and the tendency to avoid it at all cost. The seeing of this tendency, the noticing of what it FEELS like, how the body responds…

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The Oak That Grows

By Grace there has been a fierce love of life,  love of love, love of truth, planted in the heart as a tiny tender seed. That seed grows in the soil of mess and muck, where unmet and unseen feelings of life live. Where the hardship and sorrow, fear and loneliness, doubt and confusion, lack of self love and self acceptance are abundant. Yet that hardy seed still grows. Not in spite of, but because of. It finds its roots, its stem, its leaves in amongst depression and grief, hopelessness and despair, and it used them as fuel for a it's tender blossoming fruit and flower. That seed grows into a mighty oak. And that oak knows the true meaning of unconditional love and acceptance. That oak knows its Self. Its fruition may have been hard won, fought in the mud and messiness of life. But in that messiness was found to be true harmony. It was found to be all. It was found to be Self. It was found to be HOME.

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Lurching Through Life

We go lurching from one action to another all in the name of trying to pin down and find a sense of stability, find a resolution. All to avoid or fix the strong feelings and sensations arising in the body-mind. If only we could slow down or even stop in those moments, find our centre, find our inherent stability of Beingness and then observe what action comes about from this. Not an action based out of reactivity and fear but an action based from the quietness and centered-ness, stability even, of Self. An action that isn't impeded by the conditioned mind, an action that is natural, spontaneous and correct for the moment. Trying to 'get away from' is the source of so much suffering, quite often the thing we're trying to get away from isn't half as much trouble and suffering as the act of trying to avoid the feeling or sensation arising around it. We jump from moment to moment constantly chasing or being chased, never realising that what we seek isn't over there but here... in this moment, in the heart of this experience should we take the time to look, to BE. What it actually takes is…

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Change Begins Within

I don't know about you, but I feel it's a very intense time right now calling for us, both individually and collectively to take a look at that which is in the shadows and bring it into the light so that it may be seen. We're being asked to stretch and change and grow, and that can get intense and uncomfortable. We're being asked to let go of the old and step into the new. Change is a beautiful opportunity, one that hopefully we're able to welcome and celebrate, even with the presence of discomfort and unknowingness. But change always begins within ourselves. Trying to enact change on a wider collective level from its own level can only ever provide a temporary bandage. Because then it becomes an imposition or a rule from the outside, rather than an emanation or reflection of the heart in how a person truly, naturally and spontaneously interacts and acts in and with life. It's not to say we should give up trying to make change and transformation happen in the collective, whether that be in our closer relationships, in our communities, in our societies, or on a global scale; but it's to say that…

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A Celebration of Existence

A life of freedom is to embrace it all. The highs AND the lows, the light AND the shadow. To celebrate each moment as entirely divine and magical, yet fully ordinary and mundane. To enjoy the textures and colours of existence, without judgment or division. To be able to fall in love with it all. The silence AND the noise, the calm AND the chaos. Life is here for us to enjoy, because life as we experience it is a continuous celebration of existence. Where there is seeming conflict and opposition sink into the resolution in the heart, where there is room for even the most extreme of paradoxes. Where there is grief and regret surrender into the compassion and understanding of the heart, where there is forgiveness for it all. Where there is confusion and doubt allow yourself to swim in the unknowing mystery of the heart, where no answers or definites are required. Where there is striving and longing let go into the heart of this moment, where everything is perfectly unfolding without exception. Welcome each moment with the fullness of your heart, with the fullness of acceptance and love for all that life is. Give your existence…

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In the Fire of Life

I invite you into the fire of life where the light burns so brightly on all that is. The uncomfortable and unfathomable truth and rawness of this moment is inescapable and unyielding leaving no choice but to surrender. The fire burns bright tonight and with this the ground shifts beneath your feet. The stability that felt hard won is gone in an instant taking with it all sense of knowing all sense of certainty. Your heart burns bright cracking open with aliveness with all possibilities All that is all that was all that can be held in the infinite fiery embrace of this moment. Resistance is futile here for there is space for it all. Yes even resistance itself. The heart surrenders the fever breaks and with it rushes in a sense of awe and wonder that even this yes even this can be included in your story of life.

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To Love It All

The arrogant one The fraudulent and untruthful one The one with complete lack of integrity The narcissistic and the deluded one The selfish and self-centered one The unjust and angry one The petulant and unreasonable one The unkind, uncompassionate and unloving one It is our job to make friends with all these aspects of our self and not just the aspects that are easy to love. It is our job to find love and compassion for those parts that are hardest to accept. To forgive ourselves for rejecting and excluding that which so desperately wants to find its place, its home too. This is the job of work to do. For if not now, then when? If not you, then who? This is where life is calling out in pain and suffering. To love that which is hardest to love, hardest to accept. To stand shoulder to shoulder, arm in arm, closer than close with the unloveable, unworthy, unsightly. To meet with space, and love, and compassion those aspects that feel unmeetable. For there is room for all in this vast space of being-ness, this constant changing play and display of life. "Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I…

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Celebrating the Expressions of Life

In all that I write and share I only ever want to invite you to explore, discover and ultimately accept the entirety of your experience. To standing in YOUR truth, YOUR self... not mine and not anyone else's. To encourage and support you to see more and more of the beauty of your expression, even when that expression isn't how you thought it 'should' be.. to accept even that too! It's never been about knowing or being anything. It's never been about gaining or loosing anything. It's never even been about changing or fixing anything. It's never been about being more than or less than. It's simply about coming to see all that you ARE. It's an accepting, it's a recognition, it's the very act of living and being ALL that you ARE. Taking the binds of limitations off and taking a full breath of life. It's about walking through life step by step, moment by moment, learning to love all aspects of it. Learning to love even the hate, or the fear, or the shame, or the frustration; even the sadness, or wrongness and definitely the messiness too. Learning to see it's all there as part and parcel of…

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Let Your Heart Sign Its Own Love Song

Don't be tempted to listen to another's heart as each heart has its own way, its own movement that when allowed to fully shine sings its own song. Your song is unique and makes you YOU. No wrong notes, no right notes... just YOUR notes. More often than not all it takes is simply getting out of your own way, getting out of the mind and taking your hands off the tight grip of needs and wants. It takes a willingness to get quiet and innocently listen. The song of the heart never stops singing, we just get good at ignoring it under the weight of expectation. So let your heart sing with the fullness of its voice, the fullness of its love.

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Beyond Imogen

Martyn took this photo of me the other day and have to admit, I don't really recognise myself - and this was a bit of a shock at first.   So much has shifted these past years and months that the image that I once had of myself, is no longer there, it no longer fits.   Now I see a lioness, a strength, a power, a vulnerability, and an openness and it's beautiful to see. I see someone who is sitting in the pocket of who she is, finally comfortable in her own skin. That process has been amazing to watch and certainly very intense to live.   As I write this I get a flash of collective 'should' saying "You shouldn't say things like that out loud, you should be more modest and humble, you're being egotistical and attention seeking." But the truth is that to not acknowledge this is to dishonour life and the changes and growth that we all go through. To take a moment to really sink into this acknowledgement, to take stock of the shifts and changes in life is a good thing. It brings with it so much gratitude to life, gratitude to…

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The Sweetness of an Open Heart

There are none so bright and full of love than those that have allowed life to penetrate them fully. Cracked open so immensely and felt so deeply the depth and breadth of their experiencing. Leaving no stone unturned, no shadow unseen, no feeling unmet. Those that have surrendered so tenderly to the acknowledgement that they know nothing. That they are but a whisper on the lips of life, carried in the arms of Grace, and held in the groundlessness of Being itself. Their cracked open heart laid gently to rest at the feet of their very own beloved Self.

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Divine Humanness

Your humanness is a gift to be cherished not a dirty little secret to be hidden It is divinity in it's expression ALL . OF . IT . Don't be tempted to run from it Embracing the fullness of your experience reveals the fullness of love it reveals the emptiness of your core and reveals that there was never anything to run from and nowhere to run to

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I Have a Secret

I have a secret to tell... I sound like I know what I'm talking about but in truth I live entirely in the unknown No stakes to place No walls or ceilings or floors to hang on to life is a free-fall of continuous newness It's a leap of faith and trust and it's the ever present continuation of acceptance I have no opinions and no agenda nothing to rely on or anything to lay claim over I see life as a gift and all the content that shows up in it part of that gift Most people are so quick to try and pin down life to make rules to live by find positions to take and opinions to have But to step into the unknown is to step out of the mind of conception and into the realm of Grace into the realm of Self into the realm of awareness logic will do you no good here

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Own Your Power

Do not shrink into smallness Let yourself roar and feel fully into your inherent power. Your power is found in the courage to be you, to fully present ALL of you. To cease with the judgements and accept all of your wholly divine messy humanness as your own. To not second guess and hide yourself for fear of shame and judgement from others. To let them see you, really see you in all your glory, in all your power. Power is not an 'evil' blunt instrument that gets indiscriminately wielded around. Power has many faces. Power is found in full on vulnerability and openness Power is found in the soft tenderness of heart Power is found in the depths of sadness and heartbreak Power is found in all the bits of yourself you can’t yet met Power is found when living on the knife edge of exploration Power is found saying no in order that you follow your yeses In love and acceptance, there power resides. So don’t be afraid to stand in your power. Don’t be afraid to turn up to your life in a completely unapologetic way. Own your power, don't shy away from it.

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A Call To Be Present

When we experience a strong emotion or felt response to life there is a call to be present, a call to sink into it. It's not the moment to run away and avoid. It's not the moment to reject and try with all your might to change the course of life. Life is giving you a gift, an opening, the natural call to Self, the great unknowing by which all becomes known, accepted and loved. Don't be afraid, the call into the unknown is the call home, the call to the ground of your Being, it's the natural call of freedom and peace. In this moment attention is your true power, your place of healing. The only doing is the seeing, is the accepting. Tender loving attention embracing the aliveness of life.

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Buckle Up!

I find it funny that the further into this journey of life I get the less and less 'spiritual' I become. Granted, I never self-identified as particularly spiritual, but at least outwardly I certainly was a card-carrying member of the 'spiritual seekers brigade'. I was brought up surrounded by spiritual types, I meditated from aged 6, I went to a spiritual consciousness-based school and university. I worked for companies where every single employee was a meditator and spiritual seeker. I've lived in spiritual communities and Ashrams. I've lived like a monk, albeit a married one, but a monk nonetheless (and I still do pretty much live like one). For a while my focus was well and truly on the abiding recognition of awareness, consciousness, the absolute, the silent awareness at the heart of all experiencing. Seeing that the kaleidoscopic arisings of the content of life was just that, an arising, a happening, a dream. And while I find this to be true, the primordial ground of life as I know it.... but also there IS a life as we know it and that's not to be ignored or denied, it's to be LIVED. So now I find myself focusing instead…

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The Difficulty of Pretending with Others

I was asked the other day how I deal with being around others, particularly when there's a level of pretending or not speaking your truth that seems to be required of you. --- I too know all too well this feeling of suffocation in the company of others. The subtle unsaid permissions of what you can say, which topics you can touch on and how deep that can go. The unsaid permissions that someone can't give for fear of threatening their own sense of Self, views and place in the world that they hold so tightly so as to keep the facade of security and knowingness intact. I think this is why the idea of Sanghas can be so enticing, a place to commune with others who were of like mind and place in their journey of unfoldment, of seeing. A place when you can find common ground and openness, common experience and views. Alas it's not as easy as it sounds to find the 'right' sangha! You are lucky if you can find this in a partner or in a close friend or two - this is what I have with Martyn and this is what I am eternally…

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Taking off the Mask

There is a mask that we've all experienced. Many even have several masks, each for a different set of circumstances, a different set of people. The mask that you wear for your boss is not the same mask that you wear for your grandmother, which is not the same mask you wear for your friends. All a partial view of who you are, what you're feeling, what you're thinking. But what happens when the cracks in the mask begins to show? What happens when that mask full of pretense and fake smiles becomes heavy and suffocating? When the toll of not showing the full range of your human experience, showing your whole vulnerable self becomes unbearable. What happens when you find that mask slipping off or not fitting anymore? So what then? Can you leave the mask off, let it fall away, step out from hiding behind it and accept your reality? Or do you go back to trying to shove it back on and avoiding? What if it was supposed to crack, can you accept that? Accept that life has other plans for you right now, plans that you maybe can't see, and certainly can't control. Can you be…

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Notice and Return

You have all the tools, all the things you need in life. You are not lacking in anyway. You are not broken, you just need to accept all that you are... accept even the seeming imperfections into the wholeness and you will see that your light was there all along... hidden under the rock of self doubt, strategies and egoic-mind. But the light of your true Self is far too infinite and vast to be hidden by a rock. Emotions, traumas and experiences, all of it are life's way of showing you that it's alive and kicking. Don't be tempted to create separation where there is none. You contain multitudes and that's a beautiful thing...not something to run away from, minimize or control. But something to be embrace, accepted and integrated. When you notice the pernicious tricks of the mind creeping in, simply let go and return. Let go into the unknown. cast aside the tendencies of the mind to grasp and 'know'. Notice this dynamic and let go, anything other than this simple act is a distraction. So notice and return to the core of your being... everything you are, everything you think you need, right there at the…

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