In Service to The Divine

People think that awakening is something they are in control of, something they bring about. But I find myself in utter surrender to God, to Life, to Grace, to the Divine. It asks everything of me, in that I feel that no stone can go unturned where there is work to be done. Done by who? By life. It's been an emptying out for sure. Emptying out of that which is non-native, that which seemingly dims the light of consciousness, overshadowing and distorting our true nature temporarily. It feels like this process is that of ever polishing the diamond of the heart. Life-force energy often feeling like liquid diamonds - the energy further and further refining. The vessel of this mind-body, further and further refining so that it may be of service to the divine. That's what I feel like my job title is - "In service to the Divine". I often wonder how I found myself here, it certainly wasn't planned, or even desired! I feel like life got a hold of me, the Divine planted in my heart the whisper of itself, calling me home. What a strange thing to live in this world with this perspective, on…

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The Illusion of Free Will

The illusion of free will is just that - an illusion. While it may be a short term comfort, the sense of control, of the person from the person, again and again we will meet the cracks that reveal the truth of it - it is just that... an illusion, a dance, a play, All. Of. It. But when holding onto this appearing seeming comfort, we can be overcome with the deeply somatic and existential fear that contradicts and points out our dearly held false belief. And in doing so, naturally the crumbling of that is a painful one to be sure. It is not the lack of control that is painful, but the holding on to falsities. We are emptiness dancing. No thinker, yet thinking happens. No doer, yet doing happens. When a letting go and surrendering of these false notions occurs it will be revealed, that "all shall be well, all shall be well, and all manor of thing shall be well." ~ Julian of Norwich All is playing out as it always did, just with the lack of overlayed commentary that talks of the failure or success of that which the "I" seemingly controlled. It is our…

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The Antifragility of Freedom

What is your capacity to be with loss, to be with grief and sadness and loneliness, to be with fear? What is your capacity to embody all aspects of the human experience, not just the ‘good’ stuff? It’s not that we need to go looking for this stuff, court it, wallow in it, seek it out. But it will inevitably find you, one way or another. If you spend your life running from this, finding safe ground away from the mud and melee of life, when it does show up it will feel overwhelming and scary, it will feel like it could break you, even worse, it could kill you. This safe space, this gilded cage that you have created from life will be shaken to the core. Your fragility will become apparent. Freedom is the ability to encompass and embrace it all, it’s the antifragility of life. It’s the allowance of the full expression of life to move through you unimpeded. Root out where you are feeling fragile with life. Become aware of it and the tendency to avoid it at all cost. The seeing of this tendency, the noticing of what it FEELS like, how the body responds…

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In the Fire of Life

I invite you into the fire of life where the light burns so brightly on all that is. The uncomfortable and unfathomable truth and rawness of this moment is inescapable and unyielding leaving no choice but to surrender. The fire burns bright tonight and with this the ground shifts beneath your feet. The stability that felt hard won is gone in an instant taking with it all sense of knowing all sense of certainty. Your heart burns bright cracking open with aliveness with all possibilities All that is all that was all that can be held in the infinite fiery embrace of this moment. Resistance is futile here for there is space for it all. Yes even resistance itself. The heart surrenders the fever breaks and with it rushes in a sense of awe and wonder that even this yes even this can be included in your story of life.

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Resistance

If resistance shows up, then let that resistance in too.   Let it wash over you and into you without any sense of wrongness.   Even resistance in all its glory is held tenderly in the depths of Being.   So fall, fall darling one into the heart of surrender and let life all the way in.   Even if only for a moment, this moment is all it takes.

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