Read more about the article My Heart Breaks, I Pray for All

My Heart Breaks, I Pray for All

What is going on in the world affects us all on many different levels, both seen and unseen. For me, what's currently happening also feels a touch personal, closer to home in some small way. I made the mistake of going on social media today, barely a moment in and I realised this was not the place to be, not for me, not right now. Especially during a retreat, the very thing I advise people against during a retreat! So here I am instead, on beyondimogen.com - my little nook of the internet. I'm not sure if this post will ever make it elsewhere. -- I am horrified by what is going on in the world on all fronts. The divisiveness, the hate, the lines we have drawn in the sand, too many to count. It all feels impossible. How can we make our way through all of this? What is to be done? Today is the anniversary of my grandmothers death. She walks with me closely still to this day. In someways closer than ever... but that's a story for another day. My grandmother's family were Ukrainian Jews, my grandfather's, Russian Jews. The current war between the two was…

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Read more about the article Self Love Bottoms Out in Unconditional Acceptance

Self Love Bottoms Out in Unconditional Acceptance

You may feel unworthy of love, but let me remind you that you ARE love. Love courses through your very being. It is the fabric of your existence. To say you are unworthy of it is like saying the sky is unworthy of being the sky because it has clouds in it. Just because life shows up in a multitude of ways, some of which we deem 'bad' does not make you unworthy of love. In fact it makes it all the more necessary to discover the underlying truth of that love that pervades all, that is the groundless ground of it all - the bedrock of existence. It becomes all the more vital to discover the ground of your love so that you don't get caught in the belief that this or that thought or action IS all there is to you. Make no mistake, your messy humanness IS part of your divinity. It's a part of your story, your path, your love song, just as a knot in a tree trunk is part of the tree. But the thing that courses through your veins and through your very being, IS LOVE. So you might ask how do I…

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Read more about the article Healthy Boundaries

Healthy Boundaries

When others insist on trying to instilling their judgements and opinions and ideas of how things should or shouldn’t be done it takes a certain amount of courage and fire to hold your boundaries, to not abandon yourself but instead to hold and trust yourself while still staying open hearted and compassionate towards them. To stay true to your own direct experience and to trust that even while staying open to hearing what they're saying or pointing to. It’s all too easy to close the heart as a way of protection but for me this is where relative boundaries of the physical and psychological variety play a beautiful and powerful role. Learning to have good and healthy relative boundaries allows one to fall further into the open spiritual heart, the boundless and all encompassing heart of love beyond even ideas and concepts of love. Love as the subject or description/fragrance of the Self, not as an object or action undertaken fleetingly. This kind of love holds room for even very strong boundaries to push against each other. This kind of love holds room for, but is not eclipsed by even strong conditioning and coercive projections that may be headed your…

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Read more about the article You Are Love

You Are Love

Love feels like the greatest risk but is in fact the greatest reward, because love itself IS the reward. Love cannot be taken away from you, only the seeming objects of love can come and go. But love is the SUBJECT, YOU are the subject. YOU. ARE. LOVE. So let love flow. Let it not be about the object. Let love be about YOU, that tender expression of love that you are. Let yourself BE with and as love itself. Let yourself open and flower to your own love, even when there is fear there too. Let yourself keep opening and opening to yourself, so that you may see that love is just the flow of life, the flow of Self back to the Self.

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Read more about the article Am I Enough?

Am I Enough?

It's hard to believe that we just have to be ourself and that is enough. It's enough to include all that we are and exclude none of it. Most of us feel that life requires the opposite of this, and so to have that recognition "that I am enough" feels like a miracle, a miracle that we doubt all too easily as not being true. But it is it nonetheless, that we get to be who we are, entirely ourself, no bells or whistles and this is enough, this is it. It's a wonderful realisation because at the end of the day that's all we've got anyway. When we've been stripped of all ideas and ideals of everything we think we 'should' be and left naked standing here as we actually are. We never think that which we are could be loved, or maybe even liked if we show the entirety of ourself. We feel that for sure we have to work very hard to not be this or that part of ourself. But life teaches us that if you learn to love all of YOURSELF, you are free. And in that freedom, those that gather around you, will love…

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Read more about the article Before You Judge Another

Before You Judge Another

Before you judge and condemn another no matter how bad or wrong you feel they may be, take a moment to see where they are coming from. Take a moment to listen, to feel. Take a moment to listen and feel where you are coming from too - no matter how justified your anger might feel in the moment... just take a moment, take a breath. We all have the capability to act in ways that are hurtful and harmful. We all have the capability to act out of fear, misguidance and misunderstanding. We all have the capability to lash out and act out when we're feeling threatened or scared, unheard or unloved. I don't believe that human beings are fundamentally bad. Each and every one of us is striving, however imperfectly for love, is striving for acceptance, is striving for happiness, is striving for peace, is striving for inclusivity and oneness. We are striving for the same thing, all of us. We may go about it in f****d up ways. We may go about it in ways that to the outside world don't match up to ideas of what that search should like. We may go about it in…

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Read more about the article To Be Held

To Be Held

Sometimes you just want someone to hear you, to see you, without needing to fix you or explain away your pain and confusion. To hold the space, the pregnant silence, the love for all that you're going through. To not project into the void of uncomfortableness and fill it with solutions, comparisons and stories. To be okay with just having the space be about you and only you. To create a refuge and safety for you to go through what you're going through. To compassionately be there for you, to listen to you and not make it in any way about them. To give you space without any needs or any conditions or any time limits. Sometime you really WANT this. Sometimes you really NEED this. We all do. And that's okay, that's not bad or wrong. Let it sink in... WE ALL NEED TO BE HEARD AND HELD SOMETIMES. When you do receive this gift of space freely and wholly given, it lights up your heart, it lights up your world. The healing that comes from this act of being held, this act compassion and tender love is immense. But it's not always easy to find it in those…

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Read more about the article All Encompassing Love

All Encompassing Love

Make friends with that aspect of yourself that you are rejecting or avoiding, those aspects that you judge or deem unsavoury. That which we reject are often those aspects that require the most love, the most compassion, the most kindness, the most attention in-order that they be integrated into the wholeness of our Being. Those gnarly, messy, 'bad' rejected bits of ourselves are often being called to be transmuted into acceptance and love. For love is the greatest power in the universe. Love has the power to move beyond all seeming boundaries and inhabit every aspect of life. Love has the power to transcend any sense of separation or 'other-isation'. Love has the power to encompass it all. So fall in love with all of yourself, all of life, and you will see that that love is eternal and ever-present even in amongst the mess.

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Read more about the article Love Not Fear: Freedom of Speech

Love Not Fear: Freedom of Speech

I saw an article about a popular video platform (ahem... shall remain nameless) banning "medically unsubstantiated" content today... It's not the first thing I've seen in recent weeks and months on various platforms that brings into question freedom of speech and censoring of content all in the name of trying to curb "misinformation" or "fake news". Once upon a time misinformation or fake news would have been to call the earth round rather than flat. It would have been a heresy to suggest it even but science and understanding is a constantly evolving thing, a working hypothesis rather than an 'Absolute Truth'.   Lack of freedom of speech honestly terrifies me as a proposition for society. It's not even the thin end of the wedge... I think we're past that analogy. I understand the imperative need to work and pull together as a collective, especially right now but not in the name of shutting down exploration, not in the name of shutting down thinking outside of the box.   To try and calcify and control life's expressions and evolution is madness. And while I do see a lot of weird and opposing views and opinions out there, even those termed…

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Read more about the article Worthy Love

Worthy Love

You feel say you feel undeserving and unworthy of love but may I remind you that you ARE love. Love courses through your very being, it is the fabric of your existence. To say you are unworthy of it is like saying the sky is unworthy of being the sky because it has clouds in it. Just because life shows up in a multitude of ways, some of which we deem 'bad' does not make you unworthy of love. In fact it makes it all the more necessary to discover the underlying truth of that love that pervades all and that is the groundless ground of it all. It becomes all the more vital to discover the ground of your love so that you don't get caught in the belief that this or that thought or action IS all there is to you. Make no mistake your messy humanness in all its manifestations IS part of your divine love story. It is an intimate part of you. Part of your path, part of your love song. Just as a knot in a tree trunk is part of the tree. But the thing that courses through your veins and through your…

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Read more about the article Oh Merciful Love

Oh Merciful Love

Oh Merciful Love! Is not this love a universal love? A universal and all forgiving love. You fear your actions put you beyond redemption, beyond forgiveness. But what is unforgivable in the eyes of love? Grace has no such judgements of deservedness or not. Grace seeps into the hearts of all those who welcome her, of all those that open their hearts to the possibility of love. There are none so evil, so bad, so unredeemable that cannot be seen in the light of love when the understanding of what makes us do what we do is given space to dance. Grace is merciful, Grace is kind, Grace fills the air with the loving embrace of a mother unconditionally accepting her children back into the fold, endlessly time and time again. Don't be fooled into thinking that you are unworthy of love. Unworthiness comes from the realm of judgement and assumptions of action being unforgivable. Just look deeper: all action yearns for love, for wholeness, for acceptance. In its way all action comes from love no matter how misguided and utterly messy the results may be. So let us fall ceaselessly in love; let us fall fully into the arms…

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Read more about the article How Would I Describe the Work That I Do?

How Would I Describe the Work That I Do?

When asked recently "How would I describe the work that I do?" I found it a very difficult thing for me to answer because in many ways I can't define it as it feels too fluid, it is what's called forth in any given moment. It changes person to person, session to session, moment to moment. But also I AM the work - my work is a reflection of me, of the work I've done, of the work I'm doing, of the lessons I've learnt, of the experiences I've been through, of who I was and who I am right now. But many people assume the Divine Light Transmission is the focus of my 'work'. It certainly seems that way as that's what goes out most publicly to the world (If you don't know what I'm on about take a look at the 'watch' page), that and my writings. But the Divine Light Transmission for me is a modality, a tool albeit a powerful one, but much like how meditation or yoga, therapy, books, techniques and workshops are too. Yes it's a part of what I do but it's a tool, certainly not the wholeness. For me the work and…

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Read more about the article Sending Love

Sending Love

Sending love to those who are trying to heal from things they do not discuss. Sending love to those that have been caught off guard by life in unimaginable ways. Sending love to those that feel alone and unable to share what they are going through. Sending love to those that feel they are unworthy or undeserving of kindness, of love. Sending love to those who are struggling but are still trying their best to survive. Sending love to those that need it most but feel shame and fear to ask for it. Sending love to those that suffer silently with nowhere to turn. Sending love to those in the belly of darkness and pain. Sending love to those that feel misunderstood and unrelatable. Sending love to those that are trying their best even when it seems like it's not good enough. Sending love to each and every one of you walking your life's path. Sending love.... 💜🙏💜

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Read more about the article To Love It All

To Love It All

The arrogant one The fraudulent and untruthful one The one with complete lack of integrity The narcissistic and the deluded one The selfish and self-centered one The unjust and angry one The petulant and unreasonable one The unkind, uncompassionate and unloving one It is our job to make friends with all these aspects of our self and not just the aspects that are easy to love. It is our job to find love and compassion for those parts that are hardest to accept. To forgive ourselves for rejecting and excluding that which so desperately wants to find its place, its home too. This is the job of work to do. For if not now, then when? If not you, then who? This is where life is calling out in pain and suffering. To love that which is hardest to love, hardest to accept. To stand shoulder to shoulder, arm in arm, closer than close with the unloveable, unworthy, unsightly. To meet with space, and love, and compassion those aspects that feel unmeetable. For there is room for all in this vast space of being-ness, this constant changing play and display of life. "Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I…

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Read more about the article The Vast Patience of the Heart

The Vast Patience of the Heart

Patience is not just a practice to be kept. Patience is not just an effort to be continuously made. True patience comes naturally and spontaneously when you are impregnated fully with love. That love which fills every corner of your heart. That love that knows no bounds, no time limits, no conditions, no end. That love is where the vast and infinite patience for it all is found. Patience for the journey as it slowly walks its path. Patience for the moment it takes to find those right words. Patience for the emotion that takes its time to pass. Patience for the highs and lows of life to cycle through at their own pace. Patience for the stories and dramas that get played out again and again. Patience for the body as it takes its needed rest, its needed pause. Patience for the constant learning and the seeming wrong turns. Patience for the endless opening and heartbreak that life inevitably brings. Patience for the childlike discovery and excitement of every new moment. Patience for the depth of human messiness that is yet to unfold. Patience for even the impatient need to move onto the next and the next. Patience isn't…

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Read more about the article The Gift of Love

The Gift of Love

To meet others we first have to be willing to meet ourselves. To meet ourselves doesn’t just mean to meet the bits we like or are proud of and ignoring those aspects that we wish weren’t there. To meet ourselves means to meet it all, embrace it all, learn to love and accept it all. How can we expect to be met and to meet others if we’re not even willing to go there ourselves. It not an easy journey, learning to meet all parts of ourselves but the process lightens the load and brings peace and freedom into the heart. We're then no longer in a cage of avoidance and denial, we're no longer afraid of what lurks in our shadows because we bring light to it all, we bring love to it all. We bring space so there’s room for it all. For some the idea of bringing all of ourselves, even our shameful dirty hidden parts out into the light of awareness all at once will feel like too much of a task, too big, too soon. Maybe thoughts will come like “It's too overwhelming. I don't know where to start. I don't even know where to…

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Read more about the article Celebrating the Expressions of Life

Celebrating the Expressions of Life

In all that I write and share I only ever want to invite you to explore, discover and ultimately accept the entirety of your experience. To standing in YOUR truth, YOUR self... not mine and not anyone else's. To encourage and support you to see more and more of the beauty of your expression, even when that expression isn't how you thought it 'should' be.. to accept even that too! It's never been about knowing or being anything. It's never been about gaining or loosing anything. It's never even been about changing or fixing anything. It's never been about being more than or less than. It's simply about coming to see all that you ARE. It's an accepting, it's a recognition, it's the very act of living and being ALL that you ARE. Taking the binds of limitations off and taking a full breath of life. It's about walking through life step by step, moment by moment, learning to love all aspects of it. Learning to love even the hate, or the fear, or the shame, or the frustration; even the sadness, or wrongness and definitely the messiness too. Learning to see it's all there as part and parcel of…

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Read more about the article Let Your Heart Sign Its Own Love Song

Let Your Heart Sign Its Own Love Song

Don't be tempted to listen to another's heart as each heart has its own way, its own movement that when allowed to fully shine sings its own song. Your song is unique and makes you YOU. No wrong notes, no right notes... just YOUR notes. More often than not all it takes is simply getting out of your own way, getting out of the mind and taking your hands off the tight grip of needs and wants. It takes a willingness to get quiet and innocently listen. The song of the heart never stops singing, we just get good at ignoring it under the weight of expectation. So let your heart sing with the fullness of its voice, the fullness of its love.

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Read more about the article The Sweetness of an Open Heart

The Sweetness of an Open Heart

There are none so bright and full of love than those that have allowed life to penetrate them fully. Cracked open so immensely and felt so deeply the depth and breadth of their experiencing. Leaving no stone unturned, no shadow unseen, no feeling unmet. Those that have surrendered so tenderly to the acknowledgement that they know nothing. That they are but a whisper on the lips of life, carried in the arms of Grace, and held in the groundlessness of Being itself. Their cracked open heart laid gently to rest at the feet of their very own beloved Self.

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Read more about the article Divine Humanness

Divine Humanness

Your humanness is a gift to be cherished not a dirty little secret to be hidden It is divinity in it's expression ALL . OF . IT . Don't be tempted to run from it Embracing the fullness of your experience reveals the fullness of love it reveals the emptiness of your core and reveals that there was never anything to run from and nowhere to run to

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Read more about the article Own Your Power

Own Your Power

Do not shrink into smallness Let yourself roar and feel fully into your inherent power. Your power is found in the courage to be you, to fully present ALL of you. To cease with the judgements and accept all of your wholly divine messy humanness as your own. To not second guess and hide yourself for fear of shame and judgement from others. To let them see you, really see you in all your glory, in all your power. Power is not an 'evil' blunt instrument that gets indiscriminately wielded around. Power has many faces. Power is found in full on vulnerability and openness Power is found in the soft tenderness of heart Power is found in the depths of sadness and heartbreak Power is found in all the bits of yourself you can’t yet met Power is found when living on the knife edge of exploration Power is found saying no in order that you follow your yeses In love and acceptance, there power resides. So don’t be afraid to stand in your power. Don’t be afraid to turn up to your life in a completely unapologetic way. Own your power, don't shy away from it.

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Read more about the article Scary Beautiful Love

Scary Beautiful Love

In relationships we have to trust and we have to communicate. It's a constant leap of faith to say the things that we think they won't want to hear and we won't want to hear the answer to, to constantly face the fear of rejection and hurt. But if you do take that leap of faith and trust, then it's my experience that life constantly surprises you. It's such a beautiful thing, but it's scary, terrifying in fact. I've been with Martyn for 15 years and it's STILL scary. I still have to take a breath at first sometimes before I say something that is tender and edgy for me, something that I'm not sure of his response to. This feeling of fear doesn't disappear over time, you just get used to it. You learn to know it, you even learn to love it because it tells you where your edge of comfort is. It never fully feels safe to share those things that you don't want to share, because it's NOT safe. It never feels safe because when you reach an edge of yourself it's ALWAYS scary. It's not about the other person, it's about you. It feels scary…

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