The Illusion of Free Will

The illusion of free will is just that - an illusion. While it may be a short term comfort, the sense of control, of the person from the person, again and again we will meet the cracks that reveal the truth of it - it is just that... an illusion, a dance, a play, All. Of. It. But when holding onto this appearing seeming comfort, we can be overcome with the deeply somatic and existential fear that contradicts and points out our dearly held false belief. And in doing so, naturally the crumbling of that is a painful one to be sure. It is not the lack of control that is painful, but the holding on to falsities. We are emptiness dancing. No thinker, yet thinking happens. No doer, yet doing happens. When a letting go and surrendering of these false notions occurs it will be revealed, that "all shall be well, all shall be well, and all manor of thing shall be well." ~ Julian of Norwich All is playing out as it always did, just with the lack of overlayed commentary that talks of the failure or success of that which the "I" seemingly controlled. It is our…

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Walking Through Trauma Fields

I want to share what's been going on with me recently, mainly so that people who've been working with me, or following my journey and work over the years can understand where I'm at right now. I've always aimed to be as open and transparent as possible, but more importantly because I see the universality of this process that I find myself in too. And so I hope this blog post can be helpful to others, to encourage us all to lean into what life calls of us rather than trying to find a way around it or even try to bypass it altogether. I encourage you to open up further instead of withdrawing and closing off from a painful process or part of yourself. It's the opening that leads to greater strength and clarity, greater freedom and grounding in one's Self, greater acceptance and love. But I also recognise we are each only able to open when we're able to open, just as the fruit falls from the tree when it's ripe. So this transmission of words is to all of you that find yourself in a position of ripeness. A position of life asking to meet whatever darkness…

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By Grace

Life is not some beast to be tamed, a project to be mastered, or your b$*%h to be controlled. Life is a gift. The gift of Grace. And with this recognition I bow to the feet of life in gratitude. Grace courses through us in everything we touch, in everything we experience. There is nothing that isn't Grace. "It's all by Grace" For me is the most powerful and humbling recognition. The acknowledgement that I have no control. That I am here, all of me, all of my experiencing by Grace. And so in this it's all seen as a gift. -- Some call it God. Some call it Consciousness. Some call it fate. There are many names all pointing to that ineffable impersonal activity of life. I call it Grace. The infinite actions and endless possibilities of life playing life in the ocean of life. Wild and unpredictable. Plenty of variation, but no separation. Just as the sun shines on all, Grace is in all. There are no distinctions of good or bad, no questions of right or wrong. Everything that happens, everything that doesn't, all by Grace. Every whisper of a thought, every flash of a memory, every…

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Transgressing The Prescribed Spiritual Path

In my life journey thus far I've had to transgress two* major spiritual paths/groups/movements that were both whole-life encompassing - Guru, lifestyle, friends and family, home, job, it felt like a lot could and would be lost. It's was for sure a very difficult thing to navigate but I feel it's important to share and talk about as I see a lot of people dealing with this, particularly in the realm of spiritual organisations. Over time I've actually come to see that it's a totally normal and healthy part of 'spiritual' development (I say spiritual lightly as I actually believe it's not spiritual, it's LIFE). Moving beyond our seemingly secure boundaries of experience, paradigms and conditioning - the known. It's a hugely vulnerable place to be - the unchartered territory of our life, where we let go of the known and step forth into the openness of the unknown. "You're losing your way", "you're falling off the path" these were ideas that were offered up and I became fearful of, that I would 'miss my chance' for enlightenment and make a wrong turn/decision. Choose the wrong door, and therefore closing the other doors forever. Take an irreversible action. Being judged…

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An Exploration of Vulnerability

This exploration of life requires great vulnerability, earnestness, openness, radical honest and deep inquiry. It’s a truly destructive process, one that burns everything that you are not with such a fire that not even a whisper of the false is left. But what this can mean is that which we hold so dearly, so tightly, for so long doesn’t fit into this new paradigm that is tenderly cracking open. Our once core beliefs and truths don’t feel like ours any more and so we’re required to drop them, to move on, to take a leap of faith into the unknown.

It’s this continuous release into the unknown where freedom lies. It’s not a position to take but a (more…)

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