Read more about the article The Illusion of Free Will

The Illusion of Free Will

The illusion of free will is just that - an illusion. While it may be a short term comfort, the sense of control, of the person from the person, again and again we will meet the cracks that reveal the truth of it - it is just that... an illusion, a dance, a play, All. Of. It. But when holding onto this appearing seeming comfort, we can be overcome with the deeply somatic and existential fear that contradicts and points out our dearly held false belief. And in doing so, naturally the crumbling of that is a painful one to be sure. It is not the lack of control that is painful, but the holding on to falsities. We are emptiness dancing. No thinker, yet thinking happens. No doer, yet doing happens. When a letting go and surrendering of these false notions occurs it will be revealed, that "all shall be well, all shall be well, and all manor of thing shall be well." ~ Julian of Norwich All is playing out as it always did, just with the lack of overlayed commentary that talks of the failure or success of that which the "I" seemingly controlled. It is our…

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Read more about the article Trusting Your Way

Trusting Your Way

There are SOOO many different ways of doing this work of holding space and guiding & supporting others. And so many ways of awakening to our nature and integrating and embodying that fully in the human expression that we are. Infinite ways of Being. If I could ever impart anything to anyone - It is to trust YOUR way. To not assume that just because there's someone, a teacher or such, that seems amazing, and they have all the answers and they are doing it the way you aspire to even, that their way is the "correct" way (for you). Do not diminish and take for granted the wisdom that you hold, through your life experience, through your body, through the embodied spark of consciousness that you are, the particular flavour and footprint of your life. That this is actually what life has gifted this world and birthed into existence and it's not a mistake at all. We cannot dishonour life or ourselves by assuming that there is any part of who and what we are that is incorrect. And in that way you can use other people as a model and a mirror, but never step away from the…

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Read more about the article My Heart Breaks, I Pray for All

My Heart Breaks, I Pray for All

What is going on in the world affects us all on many different levels, both seen and unseen. For me, what's currently happening also feels a touch personal, closer to home in some small way. I made the mistake of going on social media today, barely a moment in and I realised this was not the place to be, not for me, not right now. Especially during a retreat, the very thing I advise people against during a retreat! So here I am instead, on beyondimogen.com - my little nook of the internet. I'm not sure if this post will ever make it elsewhere. -- I am horrified by what is going on in the world on all fronts. The divisiveness, the hate, the lines we have drawn in the sand, too many to count. It all feels impossible. How can we make our way through all of this? What is to be done? Today is the anniversary of my grandmothers death. She walks with me closely still to this day. In someways closer than ever... but that's a story for another day. My grandmother's family were Ukrainian Jews, my grandfather's, Russian Jews. The current war between the two was…

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Read more about the article The Power of a True Companion

The Power of a True Companion

To be in a close and sustained relationship with another that provides a clear mirror and crucible for burning through all that you are not is one of the greatest blessings of this temporary dream we call life. There is not a moment in life that I am not cognisant of this gift that life brought me in the form of Martyn, my husband. We have been together for 19 years and there's not a day that goes by that I am not filled to the brim with gratitude for him and for our relationship. Life in many other ways has brought great aloneness, challenges and heartbreak in my life. Life lessons that required me again and again to chart my own way, to walk through the darkness towards my own light. It has not been easy. It is still not easy. To have no path, to have no-one else to rely on in that sense. My life again and again goes through cycles of birth, death and re-birth, sometimes faster than a breath that causes such whiplash. Sometimes years upon years in the making that it feels never-ending. Much of it goes unseen to the world, except to those…

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Read more about the article My Heart Hurts Today

My Heart Hurts Today

My heart hurts today. The loss of a loved one is never easy. Tender, broken and so wide open. So full of love, so beautiful. The waves of emotions, energies and memories break over me when least expected. Life is a precious thing, but so is death. Death brings up so much to the surface The unavoidable mirror of change and the inevitability of loss. The lack of certainty and control, and the great unknown. Emotions are high, everyone dealing with it in their own way, messy and inelegant. The appreciation and love for those who are both gone and those who are still here. All parading past in my heart. Every moment filled with equal intensity of love and pain.   In memory of my dear Uncle Andrew, 1951-2019

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