Awakening Is Not Like Baking A Cake

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you have to do XY&Z in order to realise the Self…. as if it's like a cake that you put all the exact ingredients in the bowl in the right order and put it in the oven and ping, you have yourself a perfect cake. Except it doesn’t work like that, that's the mind’s imaginings of what it is. What I’m talking about is prior to the mind, and therefore can’t be grasped by the mind. Anything the mind thinks it knows or understands about this is just the mind imagining what it thinks. It’s not an adding to, it’s not a changing of, its a realisation of that which you cannot NOT be, that which you already are, that which you always were, that which you always will be whether you realise it or not. It’s like waking up from a dream; before… you were in the dream and you didn’t realise that you were dreaming, but you were. Then you wake up and realise it was a dream. It doesn’t change the dream, the dream is still there, playing out at it was, but you realise you…

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Read more about the article I Am

I Am

I don’t have any designs to be a teacher, or even a student, to be anything or anyone. I simply am. Living this life in the present moment of pure grace and spontaneity, meeting each and every moment with the fullness of my heart and the truth of this moment as I know it. Never is there anything to be rejected or avoided, never is there anything to be clung to and grasped; all is perfectly playing out on this stage of experiencing. For who am I that can possibly DO any of this, who could claim any ownership of this moment? What this isn’t is some spiritual pose, some ‘way’ of being. This is just a description of what naturally happens when the dropping of all pretences, the dropping of any held view, the total openness of Sahaja, the natural state, when What-Is is.

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Read more about the article Looking with Childlike Wonder

Looking with Childlike Wonder

We tend put value judgements on what we want any given moment to look like, and so when the present moment doesn’t look like how we want then we seek to change it; we seek for the ‘good’ to stay and the ‘bad’ to go. This futile seeking to change the here and now causes immense suffering because life can look like anything.

And yet in reality good or bad it doesn’t matter, it all comes, it all goes, nothing stays around for very long. NOTHING. If we can sink into the reality of that for a moment we can see the futility of trying to hold on to anything; then the peace and sense of freedom that opens up in its wake is quite glorious. The physical feeling of tension and heaviness is lifted, the space of being right here right now is felt. Nothing to change, nothing to do, nothing to be. (more…)

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Read more about the article Embracing Life

Embracing Life

Look at the world as if you know nothing, don’t draw any conclusions about what you experience, or who you are.   Innocently move through life experiencing what is without the burdens of ideas, judgements and conclusions.   Take each moment a fresh, knowing that this moment will never be again.   Lovingly embrace each experience of life, how lucky we are to have the play of life grace us with its beauty and light.   Embrace all, reject nothing - see that you are the master of none but the father/mother of all.

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Read more about the article Personal ‘I’ vs Awareness ‘I’

Personal ‘I’ vs Awareness ‘I’

There’s an assumption that when I say “you are awareness/consciousness” that I’m talking of I-personal/ego/individual I/you. Firstly I want to clarify that when I speak of I/me/you in conjunction with awareness I’m talking of the non-personal ‘I’ that is consciousness. That is awareness. The you (big Self, I-I) that IS awareness-consciousness.

It seems to be common that when someone realizes that who they took themselves to be (the mind-body ‘I’) is untrue, it’s seen that at the heart of experiencing there is nothingness/emptiness/awareness. This is true. But I urge you to not stop there, look/inquire deeper into this recognition.

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Read more about the article The Lion Roars

The Lion Roars

Wow I feel like a lion has been unleashed. This brutal honesty in service of truth that cuts with the precision of a well known blade is quite a surprise to me. This sharp intellect that can spar and duel with words unknown to me, spilling out like nobodies business. There’s still a tendency that’s been around all my life – that when confronted with an assertion by someone, to shy away, to back down without even looking, to assume that they must be right… "who am I after all? I know nothing." But I’m finding this tendency more and more untenable. There’s a nauseating energy, I guess we would call it adrenaline, that surges in me and so this hiding, this backing down from looking to my own experience doesn’t last. It’s like I cannot NOT look to see if what is being said is true – no matter how much the tendency to hide from that looking still shows up. And so I find myself, for the first time in my life, facing full-faced to what life is showing me. Responding to the assertions of others, looking at the fabric of what they are saying. And… well then the…

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Read more about the article Stand in Truth

Stand in Truth

I stand in truth. Can I accept that I may be judged, I may be questioned, I may be ridiculed? Can I accept that, can I be brave? Can I stand in my own truth, without qualification and explanation? Can I stand sure, knowing that it’s the right thing, it’s the only thing? Can I stand in truth, unashamedly without reason, and with no excuse? Can I stand up for mySelf, stand tall for the realisation of my very being? Can I stand up for the truth of my own reality that I know so well, so intimately? Can I live my life without the influence of shoulds and should nots? Can I say to hell with it all and be as I am? Can I stand in all my glory, warts and all, honest and vulnerable? Can I accept all of it, every aspect of me, every aspect of life, can I embrace it into my heart without exception? So I stand in my truth and in turn encourage others to stand in theirs. For it’s the most loving thing I can do for myself and others. Drop all the games, all the masks, all the pretences, all the…

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Read more about the article Living the Obvious

Living the Obvious

Life has become about living; living not in past regrets or future worries but life lived in this moment... None of the second guessing, the questioning, the “is the right thing?”, or shoulds and should nots. The age old - before awakening, chop-wood-carry-water and after awakening, chop-wood-carry-water is so so true it's laughable. Being a seeker you imagine some different 'state' where everything will be beautiful and blissful – life will be perfect. Well… life is perfect, but not in that way, perfect in that it IS. It’s happening exactly as it is, nothing to do, nothing to change, nothing to be; even in amongst every imaginable phenomenal occurrence. That’s where the miracle of life is to be found, in the very ordinariness of existence. You are, and always have been exactly what you seek. You are the freedom that was/is always here, it’s only a matter of seeing through the trees of ‘personhood’ to see that the ‘person’ that you take yourself to be is such an incredibly limited and narrow view of you. We take ourselves to be the body; the body that has changed, morphed and grown since birth, the body that will die. We take ourselves…

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Read more about the article The Attachment of Relationships

The Attachment of Relationships

The image of relationships and enlightenment don't normally go hand in hand. The stereotyped image of the 'enlightened monk', shunning the material householder life is something that’s been around in spiritual traditions for a long time. So out of this there comes the common misconception that you can't be in a relationship and be successful on the 'spiritual path'. But being in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that awakening can’t be there too. The relationship doesn’t have to go, only the attachment to the relationship has to go. Don't get me wrong, the result of that dropped attachment may actually be that the relationship ends. Ultimately that’s what was meant to happen, and all attachments do eventually fall away - what's left is what’s left, maybe the relationship will be there, maybe not. My own relationship has taught me that relationships in themselves aren't some obstructive thing that stops you from realizing your own nature. Having said that, I lived through the often painful dropping of the attachment to my relationship with my husband Martyn. We found ourselves at an impasse after he had a spiritual awakening that in the wake of he felt he could no longer be at the ashram where we were…

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Read more about the article This Suffering Will Pass

This Suffering Will Pass

I feel your pain, your suffering. If I could, I'd tell you that this will pass, just as the clouds pass in the sky, just as the ripples of the dropped stone disappear, just as the passing wind that rustles the tree leaves, just as the forgotten pain of yesterdays cut finger, just as the heartbreak of first loves breakup, just as the treasured childhood wellington's long outgrown, just as the wishes of birthday candles past. Don’t hold on, for this too shall pass.

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Read more about the article Taste the Strawberry

Taste the Strawberry

I’m pretty much an open book these days, but I’m not some kind of spiritual google that people can ask any amount of questions and I give them the answers. Someone on twitter recently asked me “…does that mean people have no individual purpose?” A perfectly normal and unassuming question as questions go, but all of these questions, do they need to be answered? If you have the answer will it stop all questions, or will it just satisfy that particular question for a second then another one will fill it’s place? Is there a question that will end all questions? Is there an answer that will end all questions and answers? Will this cycle of questions and answers ever stop? Is there something in you that is nothing to do with questions and answers? (Wow, see how many questions I just asked there!!!) Throw out all questions, throw out all answers. They are just more of the same stuff, empty and meaningless. Keep quiet and see if any questions or answers come in this quietness of being. (more…)

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Read more about the article The Humanness of Existence

The Humanness of Existence

The utter humanness of existence cradles in it every possible emotion, sensation, feeling & thought. We can’t run from that, we can’t hide from that, we can’t avoid or resist that, and nor should we want to.

It’s our human experiencing that reveals the ever-changing world of perception that we live in – our ‘world’ is constantly being born and reborn in every moment. Embrace this change, embrace it as the play and display of awareness-consciousness (you). This play is set on the stage of pure open, unconditioned and ineffable awareness-consciousness. (more…)

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Read more about the article Bliss Beyond the ‘Happiness Bliss’

Bliss Beyond the ‘Happiness Bliss’

This is not the bliss of happiness; the fleeting bliss of phenomenal experience, that shows up when nothing is rocking the boat, the bliss that’s dependent on the content of life being wonderful. It’s something deeper, something more fundamental, something ever-present. It’s like an immovable mountain; the very ground you walk on. It’s peaceful beyond the word peaceful. It’s the very fabric of you.

I didn’t notice it much until now; there have been plentiful moments of the kind of happiness bliss that we all know about, both since this realization and throughout my whole life. But this…I’ve had hints of it, I’ve sensed its unceasing presence; it’s completely without words that can describe it. The nearest thing I know to say is to use the word bliss, but it feels far more primordial than that word can grasp.
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Read more about the article You Are Aware

You Are Aware

You are the awareness that’s witnessing the comings & goings of life. You have no qualities, no attributes other than you are aware – you’re not an object that can be described. There’s nothing that can show up that can disturb you - for you just ARE. Notice that you're observing even the thought or feeling of an 'I' that wants to identify what's showing up and why it's showing up. In this recognition you realize that anything can show up, nothing can be avoided or gotten rid of, life doesn’t need to ‘look’ a certain way, because you are simply aware. You are that awareness, you have always been awareness, you cannot NOT be awareness, for you are aware. Notice that all that I say is not a prescription for something to do, rather is a description of how it is; you need no instruction or ‘practice’ to be aware. And so you say “but it’s not always like this”, but it is… are you not always here, always aware? Do you-awareness need anything, does the feeling of peace, space, bliss or lack of thoughts need to be there in order for you to be aware? Are you not aware even when sadness or anger…

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Read more about the article Nothing More Than This

Nothing More Than This

There’s nothing more than this…. and yet people spend their lives convinced that they’re missing something, not getting something, not where they’re supposed to be, not doing what they’re supposed to be doing. Pretty much focused on everything BUT This, what IS, the present-moment experience.

There’s something in the mind that’s compelled to go with the seeking energy for that ‘greener grass’ over yonder. This constant looking/seeking motion that pulls your attention out of the very now is derived from the attachment to the idea of how life ‘should’ look. Ultimately this is where suffering shows up, where there’s a disparity between how life should look, i.e. your expectations, and the reality of what is actually happening. But if for a moment you can set aside this seeking, this outward searching movement to fulfill expectations and desires, and look to your own experience prior to words and descriptions in this very moment – is there anything lacking here? (more…)

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Read more about the article Awareness

Awareness

No questions No answers No effort No doing No practice No deciding No letting go No coming No going No descriptions No disconnection No suffering No story No universe No god No you No me Awareness is aware

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Read more about the article Go Beyond the Qualities, to the Recognition of You

Go Beyond the Qualities, to the Recognition of You

When you experience an awakening – the recognition of the primordial nature of awareness, you’re centerless center; often what comes with it are things such as relief, spaciousness, invincibility, freedom, few thoughts and even bliss. It’s quite easy to then start identifying with those qualities as something that has to be present to indicate your new found ‘awakening’.

This can lead you down the path of trouble, because as you go about your life you’ll naturally start to bump into the different flavours of living, some nice and some not so nice. You might start experiencing what you might call ‘afflictive thoughts’ or intense feelings & sensations. Maybe the feeling of invincibility and spaciousness feels like it has lessened or disappeared. This can lead you feel that you’ve lost ‘it’. You then try all that you can think of to get back to those wonderful qualities that you experienced; all the while trying to avoid the shitty thoughts and feelings that are coming up. (more…)

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Read more about the article The Solid Ground We Walk On

The Solid Ground We Walk On

We take the fleeting objects of our perception to be solid & persistent - even eternal, and we build our identity based on these beliefs. This illusion can work for a while, but at some point when we find that the ‘solid’ ground we walk is not so solid after all, we tend to hold on for fear of losing our identity, and in that we suffer. The belief that anything was ever solid was build on unexplored assumptions. Explore and recognise that at the heart of you, there is an emptiness from which all that you perceive arises.

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Read more about the article The Collision That Changed Everything

The Collision That Changed Everything

Two years ago today I collided with the Self, setting in motion the falling away of life as I thought I knew it to be.  I was smacked over the head with the realisation that who I took ’Imogen’ to be was false. There was in fact no identifiable 'solid' form of Imogen that could be found. It’s been quite a journey, a journey to realise that what I sought was always here, looking out at the unfolding of an apparent journey. Although I now see that that collision was ultimately a fleeting experience it was so dramatically felt that it changed everything. It changed my casual interest in spirituality into a search that left everything else in its wake. The abiding realisation of non-duality came about a year and half later. It’s been a constant learning and discovering of what it looks like to move in this life as a passenger rather than believing the illusion that I'm the driver. I’m still discovering the implications of this realisation and while all this may sound so far off and mystical, know that what I’m pointing to is in fact your very nature and you’re never NOT this. It’s just a matter…

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Read more about the article The Obsession with Understanding

The Obsession with Understanding

The obsessive need to understand enlightenment or anything for that matter, is the very thing that’s stopping you from experiencing this present moment in its fullness. When resting in the present moment it’s seen that there’s nothing missing and no needs are unmet; there’s no understanding that you need that could add or take away from what you essentially are.

You are that which sees everything, you are what is being sought. There’s no understanding that would bring about this realization. Understanding is only ever something that the mind ‘gets’. That’s not to say that some understanding might come; but you as consciousness are prior to any understanding. The understanding arises within you, not the other way around. You exist before any understanding. (more…)

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Read more about the article Just Stop

Just Stop

All these thoughts whirling around in your head The whys and hows and what ifs The past regrets and plans of the future The shoulds and the should nots Just stop Stop holding on to them Stop giving energy to them Stop indulging them Stop pushing them away Stop trying to fix them Just stop There’s nothing to be figured out No puzzle piece that needs to be found No magical understanding which will make all of this make sense Let go of all these thoughts Keep letting go all day long Abide in that which is aware of all these thoughts coming and going Stay there Stop going to the thoughts as if they’ll be the answer Stay where you are Could it be so simple?

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Read more about the article The Shortcomings of Teachings…Or Not

The Shortcomings of Teachings…Or Not

Anything other than the recognition that you are formless awareness is born of the mind. There’s nothing that can adequately capture the indescribable awareness that you are. To try and do so will always fall short somehow. But it doesn’t mean that these pointings can’t be useful, that they can’t lead you to the doorstep of recognition, it’s for grace to push you over the threshold. To simply dismiss the importance and power of any or all teachings is to miss the possibility that even a woefully inadequate pointing, that is full of concepts and occlusions may in fact give way to a greater seeing. (more…)

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Read more about the article The “I’ve Got It” Trap

The “I’ve Got It” Trap

It’s so easy to fall into the spiritual trap of feeling like you’ve ‘got it’. After spending many years doing spiritual practices there may be a deepening and deepening understanding of what’s being spoken of and pointed to. This intellectual understanding coupled with spiritual or awakening experiences, and life can start to look a hell of a lot rosier. Maybe you’ve gone through some tough times, some mind attacks and such, and coming out the other side everything feels lighter and more blissful, the annoying person who cut in line isn’t bothering you any more. It’s like the contrast of that tight constricted suffering compared with the light airy, no troubled feeling comes as such a relief. And when it lasts for longer and longer with more frequency and with less and less trouble you can’t be blamed for thinking ‘I’ve got it’. (more…)

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Read more about the article Who Do You Take Yourself to Be?

Who Do You Take Yourself to Be?

When I was writing the about page for this website something became quite apparent. Why do we focus on the ‘story’ of all of this? It’s like the story is taken to be so real, it’s seen like a path that has to be followed. That one action led to another, and another, and another until all the actions culminated in “this is how to it was done to reach this outcome”.

It is supposing that all of this description is actually a prescription. So… if you meditate for X number of years, followed by some big event that leads you to question life, and then followed by walking out of your life, giving up everything and going to live in an ashram… these will equate to…… Ta Da!! (more…)

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